They can't take hope away from you.....

Have you ever had one of those days when all of a sudden several people from the past pop up at the same time? For no particular reason that you can see?

Well I'm having one of those weeks, actually. In the last three days I have had calls or messages from no less than nine people whom I haven't been in touch with for several months at least.

It has been lovely to be back in touch with several old friends, but I can't help wondering at times like these whether it's just a coincidence or something more that so many people should be in touch at the same time. It isn't the first time that something like this has happened. On occasions such as birthdays, Christmas or New Year, there is an obvious explanation. But none of those things are relevant at the moment.
Maybe it's the weather? Sometimes a change in season makes us reassess where we are going in life and think about people we used to know. Or perhaps it is something completely different. Perhaps there is something out there that we don't even know about.

A year ago this week the whole world of our family was turned upside down. All I could really think about at the time was survival. We needed to find somewhere to live and beds to sleep in. I had children who depended on me. Some days I felt so lost I could hardly find the energy to do normal things, let alone enjoy anything.

But a year later and everything feels entirely different. Despite the challenges of the past twelve months and losing some beloved people on the way - I still can't help thinking how lucky we are.  We have somewhere new to live which finally now feels like home. We have been surrounded by friendship throughout the whole process - and having achieved nothing at all over the summer, the autumn has brought with it new energy and motivation which has enabled me to finally start some new projects...and it feels exciting!


Somero in September..to remind you what it looks like Mihaela!

Those who have experienced depression will know just how overwhelming it can feel at times. It can feel as though you are buried beneath a pile of rocks. You know you should try and dig your way out but you don't even know where to start. Even moving the first tiny stone feels almost impossible. So you do nothing except exist. And the fact that you can't motivate yourself to do anything makes you feel worse...so your sense of self worth becomes almost non-existant and you wonder why you are even here. Know the feeling? It may sound dramatic to those who have never experienced what I am talking about, but I am quite sure that many of you reading this will know exactly what I mean. Hopeless days feel exactly that - hopeless.

I suppose what I want to say, is that it isn't hopeless, however much it might feel like that sometimes. Sure, life is full of unexpected twists and turns. At times it feels rotten and unfair - and as though we are being punished for something we don't even understand. But there are always better days ahead...if you can just hold on to the belief that they will come.

I have learned over the past twleve months that friendship is one of the most valuable things in the world. Sometimes a call from a friend is the only thing that gets you through the day, even if the friend doesn't even know it.  I have learned that learning to love again is possible, even when you are convinced it is not. I have discovered that when families stick together and help each other they can get through almost anything. And most of all I have learned that hope is the one thing that no-one can take away from you. So keep tight hold of it. Keep dreaming, whatever you are going through. Keep believing that better things are ahead. Because one day you will wake up and realise that in fact that is exactly what has happened. The worst is behind you, your old energy is starting to come back and the future is starting to look bright again - and those are the days when you glad you stuck around - and old friends start to look you up again....it's a strange world after all.