Will it Matter in a Year from Now?

Sometimes, when a person gives us a piece of advice, we forget about it in an instant, even if it was useful. Other times though, we hear something that sticks with us forever. One of those times in my life was more than ten years ago. My working life then was in the law courts in Middlesbrough, and one of the people I frequently worked with was a child and family psychologist called Alan Bradley.

Sadly Alan is no longer with us, but he was liked and respected by everyone who knew him. Not only was he good at what he did, he also had a wicked sense of humour. He had faced all sorts of difficulties as a young man, but Alan did not believe in giving up. Not ever. He decided late on to have a complete change of career and study to become a psychologist, which he did, turning out to be one of the most respected psychologists in the region.

I have thought about Alan's example a lot recently as I am looking for a new direction in my own career. But what will also stay with me from Alan is some advice that he gave me once. We were chatting in the corridors of the law courts about something that had gone wrong that day. To be honest I can't even remember what it was, but it had put me in a bad mood.

Over a coffee, (hot chocolate for me) Alan listened to whatever I was talking about, and then asked "Will it mater in a year from now?"
"What?" I asked him back.
"The thing that's bothering you." he said. "I know it's put you in a bad mood today...but will you still be thinking about it in a year's time?"
I thought about this for a second.
"No. I won't." I then said. "I won't even remember it then."
"Not that important then," said Alan. "If it's not going to matter in a year's time, then it's not worth paying too much attention to now. Is it?"

He was right of course, and
I can't tell you how many times I have replayed that conversation in my head since then. After a complicated week, a couple of things happened yesterday which at the time started to feel more than a little annoying. And then I remembered Alan. Will those things matter in a year from now?  No. I won't even remember them then. So on that basis, I shouldn't waste my energy on them now either. I felt less irritated straightaway.

Thanks Alan.  Wherever you are....you won't ever be forgotten. It was great advice you gave me that day. Most things we stress about aren't really worth it. Only the important things are worth remembering. I hope you know that you, as well as the advice you gave so many people, are both on that list of important things.