Always Say Hello!

A while ago the radio journalist Eve Mantu made a programme (in which I was involved) about why Finns sometimes find it hard to start talking to each other.  There was a lot of feedback to that programme, and I have said several times since that it is always worth saying hello to people, as you never know where a chance meeting might lead.  This evening I came across another very good example of this.

My father has now moved to live in a care home as he can no longer manage at home - and of course I am visiting as often as I can while I still have the chance. These last days together have been very valuable ones - I treasure them now already - but will treasure the memories even more in the future when he is no longer here.

We have talked about many things together.  He feels sad that I am on my own again, and this evening he said he hoped that one day I would find someone to look after both me and the children. Someone who would stick around for all of us.  In the spirit of being optimistic we wrote a list of the qualities that such a person should have. It was a very nice list, and we both agreed that if I find someone like that then he will be a special man indeed!

Anyway, it was pouring with rain outside, as it has been for the last few days here. I left my Dad to go to sleep, and just as I was about to go to the car I saw another elderly gentleman leaving the care home.  He was walking very, very slowly in the rain.  I said hello and asked if he needed a lift in my car to get home.

As it turned out, he was driving himself, so he didn't need a lift, but we stood for ten minutes in the rain and had a chat anyway. His name was Les, and he was eighty-six years old. He told me that he was just going home after visiting his wife. She has been in the care home for three and a half years, and Les has visited her every single day.

"People tell me I don't need to come every day," he said, "but I try and imagine what it would be like if I were living in there - and I know that she waits for me to visit. So I come. Every day."

Les lives alone now. He walks extremely slowly and with great difficulty.  He can't hear too well -and from what he told me, his life has been far from easy in a number of ways. But despite all of that, he is there, every day, to see his wife. Just to make her happy. Proof once again that love and dedication actually do exist. And I would never have known any of that had I not said hello to a complete stranger. Thank you Les for your story, and for once again giving hope to both me and my father that better days lie ahead!
 

Radio Somero

Minttu talks about her career plans

We all know that nowadays, especially with the recession not far away, new jobs are often hard to find. As I am looking for a new career path myself at the moment, this is one topic which has been on my mind a lot recently.

Minttu knows all about the challenges of finding the right career, so she made the decision to start early. The earlier you start making contacts the better, at least that is her little philosophy.

Ben Jackson, BBC Radio Leicester

This week she had a meeting with a radio journalist at the BBC and told him about her future career plans and aspirations.  She was even allowed to do a demo programme, although the BBC said it might be better if before she was offered a permanent job she managed to get out of nappies first.

Still, you have to admire her persistence! Minttu knows what she wants and is not afraid to go out there and get it.

Seriously, Ben Jackson is one of my oldest friends - we used to work on radio together many hundreds of years ago and we have been friends ever since. He is also an absolutely brilliant radio presenter. I promise that one day I will bring him back to Somero to meet you all.  Hear that Ben? Maybe this could be the start of a new venture altogether. What about us setting up our very own radio station in Somero? Nothing is impossible. And Minttu is ready to launch her own breakfast show...

Two People I Love

Here are two of the people I love most in the world. One is my Dad, who is ninety years old. The other is Minttu, who has just turned sixteen months.

Minttu dressed as a unicorn

There is eighty-nine years age difference between these two important people in my life, and they were born in different countries, in very different conditions, so you would think that their lives would not have much in common. But the reality right now is this.

Both of these special people are very vulnerable at this moment in time. Both rely completely on other people to stay alive. Both need help feeding, washing, dressing, and going to the toilet. Both know how to laugh and cry, and both sometimes get very angry...  I can also confirm that both are incredibly stubborn. Both prefer to be in company than alone. Both often make me laugh.

Both of them sometimes refuse what they are given for dinner but will happily eat chocolate all day. Both of them enjoy eating blackcurrant juice, and both have recently learned to drink it through a straw.  Both seem to have trouble sleeping through the night at the moment, and although both need help picking their clothes and getting dressed, neither of them cares what they are wearing.

My Dad

There are differences of course. One has just entered the world, and the other may soon be leaving it. But at the end of the day, these two people are not so different when looked at from the perspective of their needs and their daily routines. Life seems to take us full circle. We rely completely on other people at the beginning of it and at the end, and our needs as human beings are pretty much the same. I guess the trick is to try and find ways to give to others during the bit in the middle.




What I can say for sure, is that I say thank you every day that these two people were brought into my life. They are both extremely precious to me. I hope that both will always be well looked after by the people surrounding them - and that most importantly they will always remember how much they are valued and loved.

Rays of Sunshine

The end of another week. It is minus six outside and the sky is so clear that I can see a thousand stars. In the background I can hear Juha Tapio singing Sitkeä Sydän (no he is not in our flat unfortunately...it is just the tv in the front room), but it's still a good song.

Saskia and Cameron have been raising money for red nose day this week and Finland has already raised more than two million euros, which is fantastic. Just two euros is enough for a child in Africa to have a health check, so no amount is too small to make a difference!

The highlight of my day today was a conversation I had this afternoon about parenting.  We talked about what being a "good parent" actually means.  It was a short conversation, but was one which left me with a warm feeling for the rest of the day. Sometimes just a five minute exchange with someone can leave a strong impression, and that was exactly the case today.

I guess the truth is that most of us who are parents often wonder if we are doing it right - and often worry that we are not good enough.  I know I certainly do, (if you are a parent yourself then I bet you know exactly what I mean). But at the end of the day all any of us can do is to try our best. Celebrate the things we get right and try and learn from the things we may sometimes get wrong. I remain convinced that the priority is to make sure children know they are loved. The rest is secondary.

Anyway, here is a tunnel of sunshine for those of you who have children - and particularly the person with whom I spoke today. Perhaps without knowing it, she brought a ray of sunshine into my life this afternoon. And I also know that she is a great Mum. I hope that this weekend someone will appear in your life and do the same for you.

Oravatupa Sunday Cafe - Help Spread the Word!

Just a quick note to let you know that the new charity cafe is now open on Sundays between 11am and 2pm at Oravantupa. (In Nuppulinna, Hämeen Härkätie 5). The aim is not to spend any money on advertising, so please help spread the word, and pass this link on to anyone who might be interested!

All proceeds will go to charity, the idea being that every three months there will be an open meeting at which the cafe customers decide for themselves where the money should go.

Donations are also welcome - either in the form of something you have baked, or alternatively things such as coffee, tea, serviettes or candles! But you do not have to take anything with you - the important thing is to pay the cafe a visit and contribute to the warm atmosphere.

Until now there has not been anywhere to go for a coffee on Sunday in Somero.  Hopefully Oravatupa will catch on, so here in Somero there will be a welcoming place to go on Sundays and we can all raise money together for various good causes.

Hope to see you there!

Niko has a Great Day

Niko reminds everyone how old he is

 

Minttu reads to her friends

'
 




 The good news is that this "tomorrow" was definitely better than the last one. In fact the day was full of good things. Niko really enjoyed his special day and was especially pleased to receive some new police cars and an aeroplane. It's hard to believe that it is already three years since he was born! Here are some pictures from his party!

Minttu does a circus act for her brother

Niko makes a birthday wish

Luca checks that his brother is doing it right

Thank you to everyone who came!

A Better Tomorrow

Nearly 1.56 in the morning...and three guesses who can't sleep?

I've had a mixed day today. Some high points and some pretty low.

Just as I wrote those words I remembered that I had written them before, and not so long ago. I checked back to see when that was, and realised that it was on 28 September, in a post called Who will I Meet Tomorrow?

http://atowncalledsomero.blogspot.fi/2012/09/who-will-i-meet-tomorrow.html

I didn't know whether to laugh or cry when I re-read that post.  It was written the day before I was due to work as a volunteer at our church to raise money for Christmas presents for people in the community. I was looking forward to "tomorrow" at the time, because a year before I had met two special people who later became very close friends (Heidi and Elvi). In the post on that day, I wondered what would happen "tomorrow" and whom, if anyone, I would meet this time. I was full of hope and optimism about what the next day would bring.

As it turned out, on that "tomorrow" my whole life changed, and not in a way I would ever have hoped for. That was the day that my husband told me he was leaving me - and wanted a divorce. At first I didn't believe it was true, and then as it began to sink in, my heart broke into a thousand pieces.

Niko is three tomorrow

The good news is, that 37 days have passed since then, and guess what?  Those five weeks have hurt like hell, but we're all still alive!  The children and I have moved into a new (albeit temporary) home. There have been lots of challenges, but each time we conquer one it feels like another little victory. We have met some wonderful new neighbours and received a lot of support as well as practical help from friends. Some old and some new. We have talked together and cried together and sometimes even laughed, but the important thing is that we have helped each other get through each day.

I will never look back on this time as being a happy one, but I will certainly look back on it as being one when we were surrounded by people who care about us. I will never forget that.

So, back to the beginning of the story. It's been a mixed day today.  Some high points and some pretty low.  But once again, I am full of hope as to what tomorrow will bring. Last time I said that, "tomorrow" turned out to be a very sad day. But this time it might be different. This tomorrow is Niko's third birthday so that's something to celebrate.  There is also no chance that tomorrow my husband will leave us - because that's already in the past.

We have made it through 37 days...and I am sure we will survive day 38... so once again I have decided to hold my head up high and go into tomorrow with a positive attitude. Who knows what it will bring?

Here's hoping that this time tomorrow turns out to be a better day for all of us, and Day 38 becomes one to remember for all the right reasons. I'll let you know what happens - good luck for yours. Jody

Looking Back

And another great song....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p1GkR54wQaM

Labour of Love

Most people need to escape sometimes.

For some this means going somewhere else. Others just get drunk. In my case, my way of escaping is through music. Sometimes, either at home or in the car, I listen to my favourite songs... and turn them up really loud.  For a few minutes I can forget about everything else that is going on.  The best is where I am somewhere I can dance, because for me, dancing is the closest I have ever got to true happiness.

This evening I am sitting on my own in the dark and listening to songs from the past. Some of my best ever memories are from the time I used to DJ and tonight I have been remembering those times. I probably look like a mad woman, sitting in the dark and smiling to old songs, but I feel better than I have in ages.

Things have changed on the radio now, as almost every station has its own playlists, but back in the 80s and early 90s we were free to play what we wanted.

Here's a link to one of the songs I used to play.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9gxMvb9VrzY

This song is one of my all time favourites and is about moving on after a break-up. (Yeah!)  The best thing is that it's not at all one of those really sad songs that make you feel worse. It's about fighting back.

It's called "Labour of Love" by a Scottish band called Hue and Cry.  It was never a big hit in Finland....but I have always loved it. It's full of attitude, and it also fits my situation at the moment entirely. "The romance goes and the promises break....My mistake was to love you a little too much...." Anyone else know that feeling?

Sorry no picture. I still have some pride....

Lights in the Mist

Driving back from Helsinki tonight was horrible.  The mist was so thick that I could hardly see ten metres in front of the car. But in the midst of this nasty weather, the drive was brightened up at certain points because some people with houses along the route back to Somero have put sparkly lights in the trees or bushes in their gardens.

I couldn't help thinking what a great idea that was. It's as though the Finns are fighting back against the difficult weather conditions and making their gardens even prettier than before. I love that attitude.

In any event I took inspiration from those sparkly lights. The mist went on and on during the journey home, but Saskia and I listened to feel good music in the car (I challenge you to cry at the same time as listening to "He's the Greatest Dancer" by Sister Sledge or "All Night Long" by Lionel Richie...)  and looked out for the lights by the side of the road. All of a sudden we were back in Somero again.

The picture above was taken from our balcomy a few minutes ago. Not a great shot, but you can see what I mean about the mist.

So, for those of you battling with your own fog at the moment - either literally or metaphorically - (in my case it's both) I challenge you to fight against it tomorrow. Go out and get yourself some sparkly lights and don't let the fog beat you. It's a small gesture really, but with a tiny bit of light you can make your world even prettier than it was before. :)

1.56am

AND I CAN'T SLEEP!

That's all. Nothing else to say because nothing is happening. It's dark outside, everyone in the family has been asleep for ages and from where I am sitting I can't see a soul. I just CAN'T SLEEP.

It won't be long before the little ones are in my bedroom and jumping all over me saying "Äiti saisinko muroja...."

I am praying that I get enough sleep to dream about the new life that I am just about to create. It's a big dream, but the planning would be so much easier if I didn't spend all night wide awake.....

Family Changes

Lucie desperately needs the dentist

When you go through challenging times, sometimes people can start to show the strain in a physical sense.

As you can see...it's been a difficult month for our family....





How come my hat's so small when you've got that big green one?



Another late night for Cameron




The police are getting younger every day, thinks Minttu...and as for that oriental wizard over there....