Friendship - The Best Present Ever

Let's face it, if someone were to write a book of my life, then the chapter on 2012 would seem so unbelievable it would probably be edited out. It has to go down as one of the most challenging years ever.


To summarise - in the last twelve months I have lost my job, been in hospital, had serious health issues, my husband left me, as a consequence we had to move home, my daughter told me she was pregnant, I lost my dear uncle, my parents were both taken seriously ill - and just to round things off someone set fire to our family home in the UK. In other words, hurray for the end of 2012.

But the good news, despite the rocky path, is that we have finally made it to the end of the year, and tomorrow is the start of a whole new one. The kids have been fantastic despite all the difficulties, my Dad is still just about hanging on, and I am even coming to terms with becoming a grandmother in a few weeks time!

As with all these things, there is usually a positive side if you look hard enough, and the positive side of this year has been the friends that have surrounded us. On Boxing Day, I wrote about the new friends that this year has brought. Now, on the last day of the year, I want to say a HUGE thank you to all my old friends as well - most of whom I have known for years now, and who have stuck by us through thick and thin. Our family (me in particular) would be lost without you!

First is Jean, the person who can solve any dilemma, however tricky, and whom I turn to at least once a week. (And her lovely new boyfriend Graeme whom I met just recently.)

From France there is Katy who has been there no matter what, Jane from the ECHR in Strasbourg (the best EVER person to share an office with...she still makes me laugh now....) as well as Margaret and Joanna whom I also met there.

Minna from Kalajoki, whom I met in court in the UK ten years ago, and with whom I have shared countless laughter, tears and adventures since.

Ben from the BBC who will always have a special place in my heart.

Anne. Apina. Niin.

Annya and Eve from my DJing days, whom I have now known for well over twenty years (what a  scary thought).

Juliaana whom I have known since we were literally babies and who is always there for others no matter what she is going through herself, and her Mum and Dad (my surrogate parents, Anja and Mauri).

My cousin Sari who is one of the wisest people I know and from whom I always take inspiration.

Herman from the Netherlands, another truely wise person, and mijn Vlindertje!

Simon. Makes me smile when nothing else can. Maybe in our next lives we should fall in love?

Tracey from Darlington, my secret sister, and with whom it is always the same no matter how long the gap is.

Sophie once (a long time ago) the family babysitter, now a mum of three herself and a wonderful friend. (Let's make 2013 better for both of us Sophie!)

Miia, Anne-Maarit, Edina and Terhi who are all survivors. They know why.

Mio at her graduation in the album she sent for Christmas

And I of course I cannot forget my two wonderful extra daughters, Yeca from Columbia and Mio from Japan. They lived for a year with our family from 2005-06 and it was one of the best years ever. Because of the distance we don't see each other often, but I love them both more than they know.

It seems right to end this post By saying a special thank you to Mio for the most beautiful and thoughtful present ever. The thing which actually inspired this post. She must have spent literally hours putting together an album of thoughts, memories, photos and letters which she sent to me for Christmas all the way from Japan. After a truly horrible year, I came back from another tough trip to England last week and found it waiting for me. As I read it I burst into tears.  This time though they were tears of happiness, as it reminded me of how lucky we are to have the friends we have in our lives. We have lost a lot this year, but we have also gained a few things, and we have kept the friends we have had for so long. So THANK YOU MIO, and thank you to all our friends, old and new......because without you, life would simply not be the same.

I wish every one of you a wonderful 2013 full of happiness, and hope to see as many as possible of you in the New year. Love Always, J xxx

Postcard from Kalajoki

 

Kalajoki Church

We are just about to begin the long drive back to Somero from Kalajoki, so I thought for a change I would send you this postcard so that it arrives before we do.

I met with my cousin Sari today in a gorgeous little cafe where they also sell ceramics which are made on the premises. It's called Iso-Pahkala and has been there since 1972. If you should ever happen to be in Kalajoki then I definitely recommend a visit.

Around 10,000 people live in Kalajoki, so it is around the same size as Somero, but



Iso-Pahkala Cafe and Pottery Centre



Kalajoki is one of Finland's busiest tourist destinations, and tens of thousands of visitors come here over the summer. Kalajoki has Finland's longest stretch of beach, loads of activities, a waterpark, several hotels and many hundreds of summer cottages to choose from.  And of course my friend Minna, who will tell you everthing you need to know about her home town.  She loves this place as much as I love Somero.  There is only one negative about kalajoki, and that is the fact that it is a 512km drive from where I live... but worth a visit in any event. Here are a few pictures.... 



My cousin Sari (right) and me



´Minna and me



You Know You Are in Finland.....

...when you wake up in your friend's house who is in a really good mood - and on asking why, you hear her saying "Because I've just looked at the barometer and it's really warm today!" at which point you realise that it's actually minus ten.

(Admittedly better than the forecast, which was minus twenty, but still not exactly "warm" - except if you live in northern Finland, when it actually is.) 

...when you spend breakfast having a debate with everyone at the breakfast table about precisely which berries are in the homemade juice that you are drinking. I got the strawberry straightaway. Minna got the raspberry, but sadly we both missed the rhubarb. Can't get it right all of the time. Great juice though.

...when you go to the supermarket and you see your friend's boyfriend doing his shopping (and still looking manly) despite carrying a wicker basket, because only stupid people use carrier bags anymore. (Sensible, but less likely to be seen in Northern England)

....when you spend the day out, arrive home at seven o'clock and the first thing you do is go and warm up the sauna. Because it's Saturday night and that's just what you do.

... and when you can write this post on the blog and be certain that every Finnish person reading it will know exactly what I mean.

Winter in Finland. Snow, Saunas, Skiing, Salmiakki and...well you can guess the rest. No better place to be. Got your passports out yet?

Friendship and Love

With Christmas now over, today was a relaxed day. No shopping, buying, wrapping, cooking, running around or organising. And after a chaotic December, that felt nice.

I saw a close friend of mine today, and it felt lovely to share some moments with someone I trust completely. It also gave me the opportunity to think about my friends and how lucky I am to have them, especially after a year which has been more than a little challenging.

I couldn't resist putting the word "love" in the title of this blog. Every time the word has appeared in a blog title, it gets more hits than all the other posts! I guess it is something that every one of us is looking for, in one way or another.  Let's see if it works this time too. 

There has been lots of hard stuff in our family this year, but I will also remember 2012 as the year in which I met several new friends and also caught up again with some special people from the past. (Laurie and Tania from Malta twenty years ago - I am talking about both of you!)

In terms of new friends, I could not write this without mentioning all the people from the Somero English Club, for whom this blog was set up in the first place. There are too many to list individually, but I have to mention Manu, who has become one of my best friends and with whom I have laughed and cried on many occasions. I must also say a special thank you to Hannele, Kari and Marja-Leena and Kyösti and Maritta - all of whom helped us with our move in October in different ways and whose support was, and remains, invaluable.  And Heikki the wood-chopper and Soila without whom the club would not be the same.

I have to mention Katri individually - who is one of those people who gives her heart and soul to others without realising how much she is loved and appreciated in return. Well here it is Katri. We all love you! Now it is official.

I met Anne through the choir and then a phone conversation some time later in which it suddenly became clear how much we thought in the same way. I now consider Anne to be one of my soul-mates.

Kirsti came into my life through a random encounter with her dog (Topi) and I met Heidi through the church and immeditiately clicked with both of them. It was only some time later that I discovered they were sisters-in law, which then led to many shared moments enjoying biscuits and coffee in Kirsti's kitchen and putting the world to rights.

Then there is Liisa, our ex-vet, who looked after our cat Caroline in her last weeks, who had the courage to take me ice-skating and who has become like a sister to me now. Liisa and my half-Spanish friend Ella have also been the two people who have introduced me to orienteering and looked after me when I almost knocked myself unconscious during the last orienteering session of the year in September. Very undignified. Ella has now also become by swimming buddie and incidentally makes the best bread in the whole world.

In the UK I have met several special people over the last few weeks, especially through the care home where my parents now are. But if I mention one new English friend from this year it must be Rob - a great dance partner and and even better friend. Let's hope 2013 brings you all the luck you deserve.

A huge thank you to all these new friends from 2012. Together they constitute the positive side of the year and what I will take with me into the future when this year is finally over.

And there is one more person I have to mention. As a great believer in destiny, I love it when things happen in unexpected ways. I received a letter out of the blue last month which reached me by accident, and led to the most bizarre and unpredictable chain of events. I can't tell the whole story here (too complicated), but to the person who wrote that letter, a special thank you to you. Against all the odds, and despite my elevated sense of cynicism, you are the one person who has succeeded in making me believe that one day it may actually be possible to love again.  Your appearance in my life could not have been better timed, and in a year when I sometimes felt like giving up completely, I am more grateful than you will ever know.  

So you see, the word "love" in the title was not so random. I have started to believe that maybe it is not so far away after all. To all my friends currently also hoping to find love - don't give up, because you never know what is just around the corner. Believe me.... I know.

Happy Christmas

Luca, Saskia, Minttu, Niko, Lucie and Cameron

I wasn't sure what to expect from this Christmas, but in the end it turned into a lovely day. We were lucky that Father Christmas found us even though we had moved house, and the children woke up to find that the carrots and mince pies they had left for Santa had all been eaten. Quite how he got in I am not sure, as we do not have a chimney in this flat, but I guess Santa is an enterprising sort of chap.

One of my best presents was the fact that the children did not wake up until past ten o´clock, so I got the first lie in I have had in a long time. It was an excellent start to the day.

We opened our presents, then took turns choosing what music we would listen to. After my salsa selection Lucie put on something which I didn't understand (was it actually music?) but I guess that's the way it goes when you are the parent of a sixteen-year-old.  In any event Minttu kept us all entertained as she will dance to anything, even Lucie's "music".

In the afternoon we had a big Christmas dinner, roast potatoes, carrots, cauliflower cheese, broccoli, stuffing, vegetarian turkey and cranberry sauce. Minttu would not let me feed her but insisted on eating sweetcorn with her fingers. Another independent woman who knows what she wants.



We were joined by a doneky, fairy and police officer

We were not expecting guests today, but in fact we were happy to be joined by a donkey, fairy and police officer. You never know who is going to turn up at Christmas. Anything can happen. Anyway, it was all fine until the police officer got very aggressive with a cracker and then decided to arrest the fairy, which did not go down well at all.

I'm arresting you for getting down from the top of the tree...

Still, at least there was no chance of getting bored.

We have had messages today from friends all over the world which really has been the highlight of Christmas for all of us. Wherever you are as you read this I wish you all a very happy Christmas. I hope your Christmas is full of peace, love, friendship and hope for better things next year.

And just a small piece of advice - if you see a small police officer (around 98 cm) walking around Somero, I suggest you do your best to avoid him. You don't know what he might do, I'm sorry to say the power has gone to his head. At the moment he is trying to arrest anything that moves. Be warned.

Yes I AM going to win that quality plastic present in this cracker

Home Again for Christmas

And you're worried about a bit of ice on the windows?

After the complicated day that was yesterday, we managed to survive the extra night at Stansted and have finally made it back home to Somero. Hurray!

It was a long journey, but it wasn't all bad to be honest. Having left the car at the airport for the last ten days, I was fully prepared to have to dig it out from under the snow (I had even bought a spade for this purpose in advance). However, it wasn't nearly as bad as I had feared... except that I had quite brilliantly managed to leave the window open the whole time (great move Jody), which meant there was 15 cm of snow both on the car bonnet but also on the car seat itself. Excellent.

On the plus side though, despite the temperature being minus twelve, the car started first time.  As a result I now hate my Renault a little less than I did all the times it refused to start in the past. I might even try and be friends with it again.

In most things I am a real Finn at heart. However, having been brought up in the UK, I can't help the fact that Christmas preparations in our house usually begin early. Most years our tree is up by the first week in December. This year though, with all the complications and challebges we have faced, we have not really had a chance to get things sorted out for Christmas. Not helped by the fact that we couldn't get home yesterday as planned.  Determined not to be beaten though, the first step when arriving in Somero was to call in at the friendly guy on Turuntie who sells Christmas trees every year.  Somehow we managed to cram it into a car still full of luggage. I'm still not sure how this happened, but we made it home in one piece and we now have a Christmas tree in our front room. Better late than never.



 And I needn't have wasted any time worrying about the lack of decorations, because the best view was right in front of me, and much better than tinsel or Christmas lights.

When we left Darlington it was grey and dark and pouring with rain (ie a normal day in the UK).

We arrived in Somero this afternoon to be greeted by white roof tops and a beautiful sunset with the church steeple silhouetted in the background. Who needs tinsel when you've got that? To my mind, this is how Christmas is supposed to look. Some people only ever get to see views like this on postcards, but for those of us living here, it is right outside the front door. I feel so lucky to call Somero my home.

Happy Christmas to all of you. I hope you are having a good Christmas Eve. We're looking forward to the sauna this evening, and then my guess is that Santa's little helper will spend most of the night ahead wrapping presents, because of course being an English family, Father Christmas will (hopefully) visit us overnight... if any of the children have been good enough.  It really is great to be back home.

Ryanair - Europe's Biggest Rip Off?

You have been warned

We left Darlington at 1am this morning and drove through the night to Stansted airport for our flight to Tampere. Minttu slept all the way, but Saskia and I were both tired and very much looking forward to getting home to Finland. But then of course things rarely go exactly as you expect them to. Ryanair will always be Ryanair. The "Low Cost" airline that would charge you for breathing if it was legal.

In fact, while I am on the subject of Ryanair, let me write here what I know everyone else who has experienced Ryanair is thinking.

Ryanair calls itself a "Low Cost" airline. The truth though is that most fares are far from this by the time you have actually booked your ticket. Ryanair go out of their way to take as much money as possible from you from start to finish. I am sure they employ people for exactlty this purpose.

• During the booking process, Ryanair sneakily try and con you into buying insurance (that you don't need) by asking you to pick your country of residence, without it being clear that they are actually selling you insurance at this point. The "travel without insurance" option is well hidden in the list and you have to know it is there in order to avoid being charged. A lot of people end up buying insurance that they never wanted in the first place.
• Ryanair require you to print your own boarding cards, but if for some reason you are not able to do this, you are then charged 60 euros per person at check in. Why?  Not because Ryanair can't print your boarding cards themselves, but because this is another easy way to make money out of people.
• Most airlines give you a travel allowance, but Ryanair charge extra for every bag you check in. Beware though!You can choose to pay for a 15kg or 20 kg bag... but if you choose 15kg and then your bag is heavier, you are not allowed to upgrade at the airport. Why?  Because Ryanair know that people often underestimate the weight of their bags, and they thought this would be another fun way to make money out of people.
• It gets better though. If you do have excess baggage, Ryanair will charge you 20 pounds per kilo for it. Apart from cocaine or solid gold, how many items can you think of that cost that much per kilo to buy? Unless you have a bag full of gold bullion, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to see who is being conned here. 
• When buying tickets,  if you book with Ryanair over the phone, you are charged for a premium rate phone service, even though you are buying a product from them. They advise you strongly to book over the net. OK. But then they still charge you an "on-line booking fee" even for doing this.  Why?  Because it is another way for Ryanair to make money out of you.
• For those travelling with young children, almost every other airline allows you to travel with a buggy and a car seat free of charge. Do Ryanair?  No. Ten euros per car seat in each direction. Why?....well you can guess the general theme here.
• And what about the flight itself? Well don't even get me started. It is like being a tourist in the middle of a Tunisian market place, only ten times worse. "Now we're selling scratchcards...why not treat yourself to a panini? Why don't you buy our latest calendar?" (who in their right mind wants a Ryanair calendar?) "Why don't you buy a tiny can of coke for the knock-down price of two euros?" (Only around ten euros a litre, considerably more than a bottle of good Bordeaux).  The relentless selling does not stop until you are literally taking your first step onto the stairs and thanking God that the flight is over. Ryanair will probably cotton on to this soon and start selling people prayer mats as they are walking down the aircraft stairs.
• Then of course there are the seats...uncomfortable, plastic, ugly, and no basket to store anything in, because that would be just too helpful to passengers.  

Please Minttu...don't apply for the Ryanair position. Please

There is much more of course. This is only half the Ryanair story, but I would need a whole book for the rest. I am thinking of starting a therapy group for those of you who have been similarly traumatised by the shambolic enterprise that calls itself an airline.

Anyway - having got through check-in (eventually), we were then stopped at security.  Hurray. They took so long almost arresting Saskia for daring to possess nail varnish (which was clearly a worldwide security threat) that we missed our flight. Yes, we missed it. And no, we were not shopping at the time, it really was the nail varnish. So here we are. Stuck at Stansted for another night, hopeful that we can get back tomorrow. (Last month Ryanair cancelled the flight completely along with sixteen others, due to one whole centimetre of snow having fallen.  This time they have only have charged us 220 pounds to transfer onto tomorrow's flight). I have tried hard to look for the positives in this story, and they have been quite hard to identify.  But there is one. It has given me the opportunity to say what I really think of Ryanair. Feel better after that.

I wish you all a lovely evening, and hope very  much that we are safely back in Somero tomorrow evening.

Moral of this story?  Use any airline in the entire world.... except one. I will leave you to guess which one I mean.

Happy Birthday Saskia!

Saskia on her 18th birthday

Saskia's 18th birthday today, and almost impossible to believe that she has finally reached adulthood!  What a scary thought....

She tells me that it doesn't really feel any different yet though. I asked her what she was hoping for over the next year. Top of her list (like mine) is that we find a new family home in Somero.  We have all been grateful to have the flat we are living in at the moment, but we are also looking forward to putting down our family roots once more in our own house as soon as we find the right one.

As Saskia is expecting a baby in March she is obviously hopeful that everything goes well with the baby, and is looking forward to being a new Mum. I still haven't quite got my head round the thought of being a grandmother, but I guess I'll have to start getting used to it pretty soon. Saskia is also thinking about starting up her studies again in the autumn so there are a lot of projects set for 2013.

She also made the comment "It's cool that the world didn't end." Quite.

As I write these words it is now just past eleven o'clock at night in the UK. In just over an hour we have to start our journey home, as the plane leaves from Stansted at 6.40 in the morning, and we have a four hour drive to the airport from here.  My Dad had tears in his eyes when I left him this evening and it felt very hard to leave. I am of course praying that I will see him again, but I am comforted in any event by the knowledge that I have said everything important I wanted to say even if I don't.

So, as a family we have a lot to look forward to over the coming months. Right now though, I am simply looking forward to our journey back to Finland being over and being safely back in Somero. Then it will be straight out to the shops toget the food in for Christmas. You'll know it's me if you see me because I'll be the one looking exhausted. Wishing you all a happy weekend....

Joie de Vivre

Betty knows how to make the most of life

As a lawyer, I know of course that there are two ways of looking at everything - and today was a fine example of that.

The care home where my parents are now living held a Christmas talent show, in which the staff performed songs and dances for the residents.

Having visited every day for the past few weeks I have got to know several of the people living there besides my parents. 
One of my favourites has to be Betty, who moved to live there six months ago. Betty has a permanent smile on her face, and despite all the challenges in her life, she never fails to find something to laugh about.

I find her enthusiasm for life totally infectious. In fact I told her today that I was glad I didn't have a boyfriend because I was sure she'd steal him from me..... and her answer was "I'd have a bloody good try!"

At the talent show she laughed and clapped and sang throughout - a fine example of making the most of each day (and it looks like today wasn't our last, after all).



You would have thought my father, on the other hand, had attended an entirely different event. You only need to look at his picture to see exactly what he thought of the proceedings!  Still, as they say, you can't please all of the people, all of the time.


My father is not quite so impressed

Whatever happy pills Betty has been taking, I plan to find them and bring them back to Somero with me.  I reckon with could all do with a little bit of her "joie de vivre," She is one person that never forgets that life is here to be lived.

Anyway, is you need cheering up, here's a song I can't hear without dancing to it...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CDXf-GiWuF0



End of the World?

The whole world has been talking about the fact that tomorrow is supposed to be our last day. As in the end of the world. In our family we are fairly certain that if this happens, it is because Saskia turns 18 on Saturday, and her reaching adulthood is probably more than the world is ready for.....

Saskia turning 18 may be why the world is set to end tomorrow

Seriously though, I just watched a documentary on Mayan civilisation and the predictions they made. One of the archaeologists made what I thought was a very interesting point. She said that when there is a lot of talk about the world ending, at the very least it makes us sit up a bit and give some thought as to what is really important in life. The things that we really value.

I like that idea. If we are lucky enough to still be here on Saturday, then perhaps that is something that we all should do. None of us can be quite certain as to how we got here or how long the world will survive - but seeing as we are here for the moment - I guess it is up to us to make the most of it while it lasts.

With all this talk of the end of the world, and my dad reaching the end of his life in any event - you certainly realise how little material things matter.

Surely what matters is friendship, family, love and taking the opportunities that present themselves to us, in order to create memories that will last forever.

I am lucky. I have an abundance of friendship in my life, a wonderful family - and despite everything I have still not given up on the idea of finding love one day. (My Dad even gave me some money yesterday and told me it was for "the wedding."  What wedding Dad?  Maybe he knows something I don't?!)

If the Mayans were wrong (or even a little out on the dates), then 2013 will be the year to create some new memories. And I mean good ones this year. I hope some of you reading this will join me in doing so. Let's make the most of life whilst we are still here to live it!

Not so Alone

Sometimes there are moments in life where suddenly you feel very alone. I had one of those this evening. At times this year it has felt as if another thing cannot possibly go wrong... and then it has done anyway... and today has really not been a good day.

Cameron

A few sad things happened today, and as usual I tried to keep positive about them. But after another conversation with my mother in which she didn't know who I was, it suddenly all became too much. I sat on the stairs of the care home and cried. What I wanted most in the world at that moment was a hug, someone to tell me that everything would work out in the end - but the reality was that there was noone there to say anything. At that moment in time I felt completely alone.

But then, a few minuters later I was home. Even though I am not a great fan of Facebook, I logged on to check to see if I had any messages. And within two minutes of doing so, three of my children, all in different places this evening, messaged me to say hello. It reminded me that there are still people out there who love you even on the lonely days, and I wouldn't be without any of my children for the world.

Then without knowing anything about how I had been feeling this evening, Cameron sent me a message to say that he couldn't wait to see me to give me a big hug. And suddenly, there it was, the hug that I had been waiting for, sent to me via Facebook. At only eleven years old, Cameron has to be one of the most sensitive males I have ever met. Whoever ends up with him for a husband will be a lucky girl!  So thank you all three of you for your lovely messages this evening, and to Cameron for the hug...you have little idea how perfect your timing it was!

If you're reading this, then tell someone in your life that you love them this evening. It might well be just the hug they have been waiting for all day.

Life's Little Surprises

My cousin Tuula with Mum and Dad

At the end of each year I always take a little time to look back on the big events of the last twelve months. Now, with only two weeks left to go of 2012, I have to be honest and say that I am looking forward to seeing the end of it. Most years are eventful ones when you live in a big family, but I will always look back on this year as being an exceptionally hard one. We seem to have had one knock after another.

Minttu with her Grandad

But life has a habit of being unpredictable - and the fact that you can never be sure what is round the corner is one of the reasons that make it worth living.  What I have learned this year, is that although difficult things often happen, life also has wonderful surprises in store from time to time.

In September I celebrated my father's 90th birthday, who at the time was living at home with my mother. Just six weeks later, the health of my parents had deteriorated so rapidly that both of them had to be admitted into a care home. Neither of them could cope at home anymore. Doctors told me that my father does not have long to live, and my mother's memory is now such that most of the time she does not know who I am.

I have visited the home three times a day, sitting for many hours with my father talking about things which I will remember for the rest of my life. Last week it seemed as though the end was very near for him. He was so weak that he no longer got out of bed. Each time I left the room I would tell him that I loved him, in case it was the last time we ever saw each other. Most days he would tell both me and the nurses that he wanted to die.

And then all of a sudden, about three days ago, my father suddenly seemed to regain the will to live. He stopped talking about his own death. He not only got out of bed, but he even agreed to let me push him into town in his wheelchair. This is the first time he has come outside with me in four years!    

I am not being unrealistic. My Dad is still weak and very frail. The doctors suspect cancer, and his prognosis remains very poor. However, once more life has taken me by surprise, and this time in a very positive way. For some reason that nobody seems able to explain, a man who is ill and ninety years old went from talking about wanting to die, to suddenly wanting to come into town to see the Christmas lights with Minttu sitting on his knee.

I don't know how much longer I have left with my Dad, and I know it won't be long. But I can hardly put into words how grateful I am for these last memories of spending time with him, in a way which just a week ago I would never have predicted at all. When, in a fortnight, I write my list of the events of 2012, there will be some difficult things on it.  But the list will also include some of the best surprises (like this one) I could ever have wished for.  Those are the memories I will choose to take with me into 2013, with once again the hope of even better things to come.

Smiling Again

Minttu and Mummy up to mischief

After what can only be described as a rough week, today I made up my mind that things are now going to get better for our family. Full stop. And it started today.

I had messages from no less than twelve of my friends today - reminding me how lucky I am to have such special people in my life. So to all of you, in Finland, France, Columbia and the UK who got in touch today thank you for making me smile again!

I have lost a lot of things this year, but I still have wonderful children, irreplaceable friends and Somero, where I finally feel I belong. Our next step is to find our own house so that we have somewhere to call home again. Hopefully we will find the right place soon.

Amidst all the angst of recent times the planning for Christmas I would normally be doing at this time of year has practically passed me by. But today I caught up a little and made sure that the little ones will not be forgotten by Father Christmas in ten days time. Is it really only ten days until Christmas?

Anyway, for all Santa's little helpers out there, have a happy weekend and however bad things get, don't ever give up believing in a better tomorrow. I haven't.

Find Something Beautiful

If I told you how bad today had been you wouldn't believe it. It would sound like the plot to a bad novel. So I won't dwell on the details.

Instead, it was one of those days where it became particularly necessary to go out and look for something positive. So I made up my mind that I would find something beautiful today, no matter what. I had an interesting conversation about beauty over the weekend with my friend Simon - and we discussed what that word actually meant. I guess beauty is different to each of us. Some of is find certain objects beautiful, whereas others would not. And thankfully beauty in a person means something different to us all, as otherwise life would be tough for those of us not born with a face designed by the angels!

I have found out over the last couple of weeks, as I have sat with my Dad in hospital, that I am lucky enough to have a father who finds me beautiful. Even if he is the only person in the world who has this view, to me hearing it was priceless, and something I will remember forever. Especially on the bad days.

Anyway, as I left the house this morning, there, right in front of me, was a cobweb on the gate in the garden which had completely frozen.  It looked like something out of a fairytale. I found that symbolic somehow. Beautiful things are all around us, however many challenges life throws our way sometimes. And who knows?  Maybe even this story has a happy ending. We'll just have to wait and see.

Always Say Hello!

A while ago the radio journalist Eve Mantu made a programme (in which I was involved) about why Finns sometimes find it hard to start talking to each other.  There was a lot of feedback to that programme, and I have said several times since that it is always worth saying hello to people, as you never know where a chance meeting might lead.  This evening I came across another very good example of this.

My father has now moved to live in a care home as he can no longer manage at home - and of course I am visiting as often as I can while I still have the chance. These last days together have been very valuable ones - I treasure them now already - but will treasure the memories even more in the future when he is no longer here.

We have talked about many things together.  He feels sad that I am on my own again, and this evening he said he hoped that one day I would find someone to look after both me and the children. Someone who would stick around for all of us.  In the spirit of being optimistic we wrote a list of the qualities that such a person should have. It was a very nice list, and we both agreed that if I find someone like that then he will be a special man indeed!

Anyway, it was pouring with rain outside, as it has been for the last few days here. I left my Dad to go to sleep, and just as I was about to go to the car I saw another elderly gentleman leaving the care home.  He was walking very, very slowly in the rain.  I said hello and asked if he needed a lift in my car to get home.

As it turned out, he was driving himself, so he didn't need a lift, but we stood for ten minutes in the rain and had a chat anyway. His name was Les, and he was eighty-six years old. He told me that he was just going home after visiting his wife. She has been in the care home for three and a half years, and Les has visited her every single day.

"People tell me I don't need to come every day," he said, "but I try and imagine what it would be like if I were living in there - and I know that she waits for me to visit. So I come. Every day."

Les lives alone now. He walks extremely slowly and with great difficulty.  He can't hear too well -and from what he told me, his life has been far from easy in a number of ways. But despite all of that, he is there, every day, to see his wife. Just to make her happy. Proof once again that love and dedication actually do exist. And I would never have known any of that had I not said hello to a complete stranger. Thank you Les for your story, and for once again giving hope to both me and my father that better days lie ahead!
 

Radio Somero

Minttu talks about her career plans

We all know that nowadays, especially with the recession not far away, new jobs are often hard to find. As I am looking for a new career path myself at the moment, this is one topic which has been on my mind a lot recently.

Minttu knows all about the challenges of finding the right career, so she made the decision to start early. The earlier you start making contacts the better, at least that is her little philosophy.

Ben Jackson, BBC Radio Leicester

This week she had a meeting with a radio journalist at the BBC and told him about her future career plans and aspirations.  She was even allowed to do a demo programme, although the BBC said it might be better if before she was offered a permanent job she managed to get out of nappies first.

Still, you have to admire her persistence! Minttu knows what she wants and is not afraid to go out there and get it.

Seriously, Ben Jackson is one of my oldest friends - we used to work on radio together many hundreds of years ago and we have been friends ever since. He is also an absolutely brilliant radio presenter. I promise that one day I will bring him back to Somero to meet you all.  Hear that Ben? Maybe this could be the start of a new venture altogether. What about us setting up our very own radio station in Somero? Nothing is impossible. And Minttu is ready to launch her own breakfast show...

Two People I Love

Here are two of the people I love most in the world. One is my Dad, who is ninety years old. The other is Minttu, who has just turned sixteen months.

Minttu dressed as a unicorn

There is eighty-nine years age difference between these two important people in my life, and they were born in different countries, in very different conditions, so you would think that their lives would not have much in common. But the reality right now is this.

Both of these special people are very vulnerable at this moment in time. Both rely completely on other people to stay alive. Both need help feeding, washing, dressing, and going to the toilet. Both know how to laugh and cry, and both sometimes get very angry...  I can also confirm that both are incredibly stubborn. Both prefer to be in company than alone. Both often make me laugh.

Both of them sometimes refuse what they are given for dinner but will happily eat chocolate all day. Both of them enjoy eating blackcurrant juice, and both have recently learned to drink it through a straw.  Both seem to have trouble sleeping through the night at the moment, and although both need help picking their clothes and getting dressed, neither of them cares what they are wearing.

My Dad

There are differences of course. One has just entered the world, and the other may soon be leaving it. But at the end of the day, these two people are not so different when looked at from the perspective of their needs and their daily routines. Life seems to take us full circle. We rely completely on other people at the beginning of it and at the end, and our needs as human beings are pretty much the same. I guess the trick is to try and find ways to give to others during the bit in the middle.




What I can say for sure, is that I say thank you every day that these two people were brought into my life. They are both extremely precious to me. I hope that both will always be well looked after by the people surrounding them - and that most importantly they will always remember how much they are valued and loved.